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A Disappointment Salad

The only thing worse than chocolate straight out of the fridge is a ham and pineapple salad. Just above chocolate out of the fridge on the hate scale (indicating that it’s not quite as bad) are people in offices who insist on sending emails when you sit two feet behind them, and just above them …

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Dreams To Reality

I’ve got half a mind to buy that 1970s Datsun truck for sale down the road. I know it’s rusty as heck and possibly good for no more than parts, but it’s precisely the car I wanted when I was a kid. I had a little collectable toy that looked just like this one, and …

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Give ’em a Break

That poor family down the road – they’ve really been through the wringer lately. Six months ago, their back unit burnt down. A couple of months after that, the whole family came down with the flu. Then, just last week, they had a leak in their gas system and their eight year-old got carbon monoxide …

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The Right Accessory

If I was ever made into an action figure, I don’t think I’d want it released unless it had kung fu action grip. It really is a baseline for all figurines, or at least, I think it should be. So many manufacturers just don’t understand the value of your action figure being able to easily …

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Office Sneak

I know our work departments have very little to do with each other, in general, but that won’t stop me from hating Franchita. Oh, the golden lady of virtue from HR, Franchita. In front of everyone she’s all golden curls and giggling at your jokes and helping to water the office plant when it isn’t …

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Home Ownership…Wow

You know, some people in this class have a clear advantage over others. I myself do not resemble humans in any way, shape or form, and my holographic glamour only works in short bursts. But now there’s this new guy, and he’s from Earth. That’s just unfair. I think our grades should be adjusted according …

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Things Got Weird

Okay, I leave Melbourne for…what, five years? Just over five years. It’s not that long in the grand scheme of things, but I come back from my job in the Malaysian office and the city has gone nuts. There’s cults and weird clubs everywhere, about a zillion odd attractions (Lemur Sanctuary sounds cool though), there …

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Cold snap results

The recent cold snap that has rocked Melbourne for the past fortnight is now causing an increased number of mothers-in-law to flock to strange houses in search of warmer environments. The 12 degree weather has taken its toll on the in-law population of the Melbourne metropolitan area, with more than 250,000 flocking to the streets …

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