Forgot Plumbing Supplies

Drat! I can’t believe I forgot to tell Bandit to get the plumbing supplies! Those are crucial to my plan. How are we supposed to defeat my evil clone without them? Well, I suppose I have more pressing issues to deal with now.

Such as the fact that Archerak completely faked losing his magic to get our guard down, and now he’s got me imprisoned in an anti-magic barrier. I should have expected this. He’s nothing but a snake in the body of an undead, unfathomably powerful wizard.

Fortunately, technology doesn’t count as magic, and Archerak doesn’t seem to know what a smartphone is, so I can text whoever I want. The bad news is that both Bandit and Frankie left their phones here. Who else could I text for aid? The only other option is to wait for the others to return, but I’m not sure there’s any point if they’ll be coming back without plumbing and bathroom supplies. Cheltenham is a decent journey away. I don’t think we can afford a second trip. Besides, Archerak will probably have toasted me by then. I need another plan. 

I know! Maybe I can contact the other contestants. While the Dirge has gone back to running his family business, nobody has heard from Jack Zebraman since my evil clone destroyed the set of Next Top Office. Maybe he’s hiding somewhere. And I might as well see if the Dirge is willing to help. I’ll ask if he can stop by a Hampton hardware store and get the plumbing supplies I need. Without those pipes and plungers, we’re doomed.

Because Evil Space Wizard was created in the sewer, I figure there’s no better way to fight back than with supplies that clean and manage sewers. They’re basically his one weakness, like how mine is brass. I can’t stand the stuff. It reminds me of my home planet, which became so obsessed with brass that they eventually traded all their food for it and died out.

Anyway, hopefully, someone can save me from Archerak, otherwise, this whole plan is pretty pointless.