Bah, shoes! I don’t see what’s wrong with a nice, solid pair of dragon leather boots, preferably enchanted so that they repel water, keep your feet super cozy and allow you to soar through the air if you think enough good thoughts. I haven’t seen any dragons in this realm, but that’s no excuse. They …
If the ball is too big for your mouth, you should probably get yourself a new ball, because THAT ball has been in someone else’s mouth and it’s probably infected with all kinds of germs and such. Honestly, I fail to comprehend why anyone would be stealing anyone else’s ball. Such silliness. I’m most vexed. …
Auctions, contracts, surveyors… oh my! That’s my life at the moment: a big swirling quagmire of things I don’t really understand. I’m coming to grips with some of it, mostly out of desperation to stay afloat. The brutal reality of the property market is that you need to learn to swim, or you’ll sink. That’s …
Weeds: can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. I mean, I’m forever removing them from my garden beds and pathways, and fighting an uphill battle to keep my grassy patch from having no actual grass in it. On the other hand, I do like to eat said dandelions – hey, it’s cheaper than buying …
I suppose if you asked me about the main purpose of a railing, I’d say that it’s to stop things from falling off a platform – things like people, and… well, mostly just people, I guess. Currently, my boat doesn’t have a bow rail, so I suppose there’s always the clear and present danger that …
Pshh, flat-earthers. Amateurs. Also, hollow-earthers. Double-amateurs. I don’t even have anything to say on the subject of round-earthers; you guys are crazy, and also sheeple for believing the mainstream. No, the hottest and most scientifically verified theory at the moment is that the earth is actually shaped like farfalle. That’s right: a big old bow-tie, …
Medicine is such a weird phenomenon. Do you ever stop and just go, wow, how is this a thing? Maybe it’s just me, but surely it’s worth taking the time to appreciate just how improbable it is that we meat sacks in space have managed to piece together how to… well, piece our bodies back …
It was a dark and stormy night, as the classic fireside tale goes, and we were just starting on the post-dinner washing up. We’d had a preserved lemon pilaf and rosewater labneh from the new Yotam cookbook. Without warning, Francesca launched into a spiel about how inefficient the design of our kitchen is, and continued …
I’ve been looking over these figures for a good hour now, and they’re still not adding up. Maybe I should give it a rest and come back to it later. Or I could hire an assistant, but isn’t the whole point of this exercise to cut costs, not add new ones? That said, if I’d …
When it comes to houses, there are some things that are simply non-negotiable for me. One such thing is a decent bathtub. I’m aware that not everyone feels this way – it’s all too apparent every time I’ve been faced with the sad reality of not having access to one. Candice cares much less about …
