Bring Me Boots!

Bah, shoes! I don’t see what’s wrong with a nice, solid pair of dragon leather boots, preferably enchanted so that they repel water, keep your feet super cozy and allow you to soar through the air if you think enough good thoughts. 

I haven’t seen any dragons in this realm, but that’s no excuse. They have their technology, their electricity, their science…and where does it get them? A lousy pair of shoes for me, ones that I wear to work for a week and then I’m being shipped off to the podiatrist to get semi custom orthotics. Whatever that means. At the very least, I reserve some praise for podiatrists and their ability to do all sorts of things, even treating the snark-root fungus that’s been growing on my left big toe since I was on that Wizard Apprentice Summer Hike 600 years ago and Grey the Gaseous pushed me into the Swamp of Stupendous Stench. He was trying to impress Esmeralda, but the joke was on him when they dated for sixty years and then she dumped him for an Animal Transfiguration Specialist. What a loser

Anyway, foot fungus ever since that day. Supposedly enchanted, so no one could remove it, but the podiatrist said they see this sort of thing a lot, gave me a cream and it was gone in a week. Simply marvellous, almost magical! Almost. But that wasn’t the only thing wrong with my feet, and now I’m having to wear both shoes AND orthotics which are doing…something good, I would imagine. Maybe it’s just centuries of walking around in boots that kept my feet warm and dry, but didn’t really offer much support in the heel-and-sole department. I wonder if that can be corrected at my age, but I didn’t think my fungal nail infection could be treated, and here we are! Fungus free!

I’ll give these Cheltenham foot specialists a go. But at the same time, I wouldn’t mind slipping back through the portal to pick up some comfy footwear. I’ll skin the dragons myself if I have to.