Thieves beware

If the ball is too big for your mouth, you should probably get yourself a new ball, because THAT ball has been in someone else’s mouth and it’s probably infected with all kinds of germs and such. Honestly, I fail to comprehend why anyone would be stealing anyone else’s ball.

Such silliness. I’m most vexed.

That’s the problem with things nowadays: everything is stolen. Jokes are stolen, memes are stolen, and you’d better believe that well over fifty percent of cars in the road have been casually stolen because someone took a fancy to them. Not a day goes by when a mechanic open in Glen Iris would see a dozen or more new, stolen cars running through their garages, and all because of our casual acceptance of theft in this society. “Take the plates off and replace them with custom ones, my good mechanics,” the thieves will say, treating the incident as if it were nothing more than downloading a song from Me-Straw. The mechanics shake their heads at the shocking lack of ethics on display, but are forced to comply. Next thing you know, it’s civil war as the honest folks of society- the ones who are constantly walking out of places to find that their cars have been broken into and driven away- will take their cases to the courts, backed by mechanics of course. Car services professionals will be tired of replacing plates and broken windows that “just got broken when a bird flew through them, honest, for reals.”

Naturally, half of the judges and juries will be car thieves and won’t really see anything wrong with it, so we’ll just have to wait until we get a judge with a conscience. A lengthy series of appeals will be required, obviously, but I have faith that justice will be done in the end. One day, the car service mechanics near Hawthorn will rest knowing that they’re not being forced to service or repair anything they shouldn’t. 

Basically, what I’m getting at is that you shouldn’t steal other people’s things.