The Ultimate Balustrades

I had my people look into the actual price of a single banana, and apparently it’s much less than ten dollars. I suppose that’s a relief for the common folks, but I’m not sure how I feel eating bananas that are less than ten dollars. I sent my people out to find a banana with the highest possible price, and they came back with a bunch for eight dollars, and that’s only because they were dusted with gold flecks before being sold. I appreciate the effort, I suppose. Maybe once I renovate the entrance hall for the third time this year, I’ll make the centrepiece a bowl of fruit dusted with gold.

I’ve already been in touch with the glass stair balustrading companies near Melbourne regarding my fabulous idea of how to make the balustrading functional. Well, I say I have been in touch; I told Monique to contact my support team with my request, and I imagine the communications team got in contact with the balustrading professionals, and they’ll reply to the communications team, who’ll reply to Monique, who will reply to me.

Imagine it, though: an elegant glass balustrading job, sweeping stairs, very dramatic and confronting for any visitors coming to my home, since they flank both sides of the entrance hall. But then you have crystal fruit bowls built into the balustrading, almost as if I’m inviting people to have a snack as they ascend the stairs! It won’t be real fruit, of course. I have a man in Austria who makes elegant wax fruit that 97% of professional fake fruit inspectors can’t even tell is fake until they take a bite. I’ll commission him to make a few very choice pieces, dust them with gold and they shall adorn my balustrading, impressing guests with my creativity and sense of style! I just need a really good residential glazier, only the very best in all of Melbourne to make my dream a reality. I could outsource to the legendary glaziers of Budapest, but I like to support local businesses.

-Pondelia Whimsy