Two months on from the death of my friend’s grandparents and I am pleased to say that everyone is doing well. There have been many tears shed over the last couple of months, which is completely normal and to be expected. I personally haven’t cried because they weren’t my family, but I completely understand how my friend is feeling and I’ve been with her through all of it. At one point, my shoulder was stained with tears and I didn’t even flinch. That’s what you have to do for the people you love.
About one month after my friend’s grandparents passed away, she went through the anger stage of the grieving process. She was mad at her parents for not stepping in and making her grandpa get a local disability support worker to help her grandma. She even blamed her parents at one point for her grandparents’ deaths. Obviously, that wasn’t fair of her but she wasn’t thinking properly and I don’t blame her for being upset. I will never repeat what she said to her family, because it wouldn’t help the situation at all. Some things are better left unsaid.
I’ll admit though, deep down, I also believe that my friend’s grandma should have had the help of an NDIS provider. Local to Adelaide there are a few providers that work with elderly people with special needs and I have a feeling that my friend’s grandma would have benefitted a lot from receiving that service and proper care. I’m not saying my friend’s grandpa didn’t do a good job caring for her, but he was old also so he wasn’t able to do everything that she needed. Hindsight is a good thing, I suppose, and just like I’ll never tell my friend’s family what she said, I’ll also never tell them what I believe deep down. It just wouldn’t be helpful and might hurt them unnecessarily.