Office Sneak

I know our work departments have very little to do with each other, in general, but that won’t stop me from hating Franchita. Oh, the golden lady of virtue from HR, Franchita. In front of everyone she’s all golden curls and giggling at your jokes and helping to water the office plant when it isn’t even her turn, but no one sees that she is THE quintessential office nightmare – to me, specifically. And because I’m grumpy and cantankerous, no one listens.

She steals my lunch at every opportunity, takes my parking space, purposefully fed the plant on my desk weed killer and while I can’t prove anything, I know she was responsible for some of the equipment going missing, leaving me to figure out how to buy aluminium gas bottle holders at a moment’s notice. Sweet little Franchita, taking custom aluminium accessories that don’t belong to her? No one would ever suspect a thing, and THAT is why she gets away with it.

I honestly don’t know what she even wants with the stuff she took. You mostly see those things attached to utes and trucks alongside under tray drawers and the like, and Franchita drives this little pink mini that makes me want to hurl every time I see it. But maybe she has a secret love of using stolen parts to piece together custom ute canopies. Melbourne drivers, keep an eye out. Maybe she’s actually a different person when she goes home, a surly, blue-collar working woman (not that blue-collar workers are all surly – it’s just that Franchita would be for sure). She probably runs her own timber and hardware business where she walks around in overalls and snaps at everyone while running oily hands through her hair. I bet she steals everyone’s lunches, openly, but they’re all too afraid to challenge her about it. 

She’s a crook, I tell you! No one should trust Franchita, hear my words!