If I was ever made into an action figure, I don’t think I’d want it released unless it had kung fu action grip. It really is a baseline for all figurines, or at least, I think it should be. So many manufacturers just don’t understand the value of your action figure being able to easily grip things, from swords to guns to small trees.
Also, I want a car. Every single good action figure gets a car that you have to purchase separately, even superheroes that fly or have super speed. Last time I was at the automotive mechanics, Bendigo not being a hotspot for more important things to banter about, I got to talking about it. Specifically, I had to ask this extremely important question: if I were an action figure, what sort of car would I have? A sporty automobile, or something a little more down-to-earth?
The guy in question didn’t seem to know, but that’s alright. It’s not like the ability to design a really good action figure is found in all of us. In fact, it’s quite a rare skill indeed. That’s why people like me need to exist, even though if I ever did come bundled with a car (or more likely, had a car that was sold separately, alongside my island play set), it’d be something modest. You know, like a Ford Focus.
I should ask my mechanic; they’d know if a Ford Focus suits my personality. I’ve always thought of myself as more of a Hilux man, but maybe I’m not. You don’t want to match a figure up with the wrong car. They did that with Army Guy Mack in their 1991 edition when they gave him a people-mover, when we all KNOW that Mack is a four-wheel-drive man. Ruined the whole series, IMHO.
I’m going to have a poke around in the shop next time I’m getting a car service. Bradford locals probably drive the type of car that I’m thinking of. Maybe one will speak to me, and then, someday, my kung fu grip will be gripping the wheel.