Bored Room

Why did I sign up to be on this board? Oh, that’s right… the money. Well, I’m starting to think that money isn’t everything. Money goes a long way, sure, but are fabulous riches really worth it if you have to spend so much time with these insufferable drivel mongers? I can barely remember what it even does that this company does. Something to do with managing investment portfolios.

It doesn’t help that the room is stylised to within an inch of its of its life, with the air con turned up to eleven and the windows so darkly tinted that nary a scrap of natural light can enter. I’ve seen office tinting done well, so I can confirm that it’s possible to block out harmful UV rays without plunging the joint into darkness, but evidently someone here didn’t get that memo. It feels like I’m in an Arctic cave inhabited by the ghost of designer Karl Lagerfeld.

It’s almost as though someone has jokingly gone to town with the notion of glass frosting. Melbourne corporations use window frosting for all sorts of purposes – adding visual interest to windows, making glass partitions function as privacy barriers, emblazoning their logo on everything. They don’t generally use it on the board room windows, and it’s inappropriate for that purpose as all get-out, yet it’s oddly fitting alongside the frosty air-conditioned climate and icy approach to decor.

I’m getting distracted now. I’ve passed off my incessant typing as ‘taking notes’, but I’ve just realised that everyone’s looking at me silently as I continue to type. Since nobody’s saying anything, it doesn’t quite make sense that I’m still typing, and I’m going to need to move things along pretty quick smart.

I have an idea. “Can you repeat that last bit?” – that’s what I just asked the room, without looking up from my laptop.

“Kristy,” one of the directors is saying sternly. “We’ve just repeated it several times. Are you going to answer the question?”

Finally, this is starting to get interesting.